"Those things don't happen to me!"

Five minutes ago I had no idea I wanted to write about this today. It's something I've been thinking about lately, way back in the dark recesses of my mind. Even though I think of myself as having had breast cancer lite since it was DCIS, stage 0 and I didn't have to have any radiation or chemotherapy, one of the ways that it changed me is that I no longer have the illusion that "those things don't happen to me." It really is a loss of innocence, or maybe just a loss of denial, I suppose.

It really changes everything. Having had cancer, even recovered from cancer, gives me the feeling that my life is shorter. Therefore, I must not waste it. Every day must be spent meaningfully. I ask myself, is this what I want to be doing today? Is this important enough to be spending my limited time doing?

Which leads me to another discussion. I am not afraid of dying. I am afraid of not knowing when I will die, not knowing how much time I have left. 5 years? 10 years? 12 years? 2 years? My mother-in-law just died March 25, 2007. She was 85 years old. She planned to live much longer and was disappointed she didn't get to live with her grandson, which they had planned.

What if you could know when you would die? How would it change your life? What would you do differently? What has happened in your life that was life-changing?