Life in the Desert with Flies, Fires, and Lizards…

Wednesday evening as I was driving out I-8 to Jacumba, CA, I saw off in the distance huge, red billowing clouds east of Pine Valley, CA. I couldn’t see any flames from the freeway, but it was a bit scary. My husband, who was about 15 minutes behind me said he did see flames from the freeway.

Fortunately, it was contained by the next day and didn’t get close to us. I learned from the Pine Valley News online that it burned 1750 acres of Cleveland National Forest. Wow!

It’s a tad bit cooler here now, 85 degrees, rather than 105 degrees, but the flies are still in full force. Both our Fly Zappers died from overuse. Fun as they were, they were too flimsy to withstand the constant use we put them to.

Yes, we now have two pets—Stars and Stripes, two small lizards that hang around to catch the flies. First there was Stripes, a tiny lizard that kept showing up and could fly on and off the first step. Then, this weekend, he/she was joined by a slightly larger brother/sister. We decided to name him/her Stars since we already had Stripes.

I killed a fly on a flat surface and it flew off and Stripes caught it mid-air. It was so funny to watch him that we are now trying to kill flies for lizard food. It seems they like to catch them while they are flying, or at least moving. Once they are dead on the ground, they leave them for the ants to dismember and carry home. Ah, nature.

Jack and I jokingly say, “What did you do this week?” Answer: “Watched the lizards and killed flies.” My, what a life.

We drove around last night in our little golf cart we named “Hot Stuff” since it’s red and white. Just as we made a turn, a deer came dashing not 20 ft. from us. He was running in the same direction as we were going. Needless to say, he was going a lot faster than we were and took off into the safety of the hills. Every day and night some surprise comes up. Not big ones, fortunately. It’s the little ones that touch us.

My How Time Flies When We're Having Fun...

Almost a whole month has passed since I last wrote about lizards and flies. We have since named the tiny little lizard who shows up a lot, Stripes. He can fly down from the first step, which is about 3 inches. And fly up, too. Pretty cute, he is. Of course, he doesn't do it on demand, like a dog might do, but he is pretty cute flying up or down. I guess he eats flies.

I think that because there sure are a lot of flies out here in the desert in July/August. Apparently, he doesn't eat enough of them because he is pretty darn small and there are a lot of flies! They are lessening thank heaven!

We are still loving it out here, in spite of a couple of mishaps, large numbers of flies, one electrical black-out, and hot, hot, hot weather. My husband put up a metal-tubing carport with the cover made of canvas. Guess what canvas becomes in the desert--a sail!! It blew over within a week. Luckily, he was here and caught it--believe it or not. He then cut the canvas off and dismantled the mental pipes. He wanted someone to drive by and ask him what happened to his carport. He was dying to tell them he was working on a metal sculpture. Anyway, it's now all dismantled, so I couldn't take a picture of it in it's sculptural form.

Luckily, it didn't fly into the neighbor's shed, house, our gazebo, etc.

I'll try to write again sooner; this has been fun.

Education from Flies and Lizard

One of the things that we deal with out here in the desert is flies. From having a lot of them to watch and deal with, I can’t help noticing how similar they are to people in unsatisfactory relationships.

For example, they are cheerfully flying around in a large, closed in area, feeling foot-loose and fancy free (I imagine), when suddenly they get themselves in a tight spot, take, for example, a tall cylindrical candle holder. They buzz around, helplessly, beating themselves against the glass, unable to figure out that if they only would do something differently, such as fly upwards, they could be free.

Of course, I am watching them and waiting for them to figure that out, waiting with my trusty “Fly-Zapper” to get them when they do get out.
That part isn’t necessarily part of bad relationships, usually, anyway. But, in a way, it is part of life. No matter how smart, how “healthy” we approach life, none of us are going to get out of this alive.

I watched a cute little lizard come zipping into my gazebo yesterday, then he couldn’t figure out how to get out of it, even though there was a gaping space not 6" away. It took him a dozen tries to find that space before he got to freedom. I thought then, too, how that is like so many women, and men, too, in unsatisfactory relationships but unable to take effective action to get out.

Maybe I’m thinking of this because I hear so many callers to the hotline complaining either of being left by a man who has treated them badly, cheated on them, took their possessions, etc., and now they are crying because the jerk has left them. I know, I know. Grief is normal with any loss.

Another common call we get is from men and women who want to leave but who are afraid to be alone, afraid they won’t make it financially without their partner. Or afraid they will never find anyone to love them again.

How are they like the lizard and the fly? Little imagination or trust in themselves.

I probably should quit now, before I alienate everyone.

Previously delayed post...

I thought I had the problem of not writing daily to my blog solved. I was writing to my email address, thinking I could then upload it to my blog later. However, as you can see, that didn't work out exactly the way I planned it.

However, we are now on plan B. My husband, Problem SolverMan, figured out a way to be able to get on the Internet more consistently when we are out here in the desert. He added a 2.4 GHz Wireless Range Extending Antenna, so now if I don't get a new blog up on Thursdays and Fridays, I have no excuse.

Melissa wrote me a very gracious comment to my blog in which she said, "There are times to write and times to live. It looks like this is your time to sit, back, relax... and enjoy!" That was lovely of her, I thought. It made me stop and relax about pushing myself to write, instead, just stop and enjoy life. I AM!

One of the things I enjoy out here in the desert is that I get a fresh perspective on tiny things and large things. Ah, maybe that's a subject to save for another blog...

Oh, and BTW, I have been much more conscious about how I respond to people on the hotline, now mind you, I wasn't a meany before, or rude, but sometimes, it does get difficult to be kind to someone who is yelling at me for not reason. But I am getting better by being more conscious. Those pearls...

Thoughts on Time...

This morning (last Saturday, August 4, 2007), as I was driving in to work from our desert escape, I was thinking about time. Usually, when I drive back to San Diego from Jacumba on Saturday morning, I feel sad because I won't be back for another week. Today, as I was driving back to San Diego, I was planning on returning to the desert this evening after work to attend a house warming party with friends. I was thinking that these 8.5 hours of working will dissolve slowly and be gone.

I felt both happy and sad about the time going by. Happy that the 8.5 hours would go quickly and sad that 8.5 more hours of my life will be gone. I then thought of time as a metaphor--hey, it was early in the morning, traffic on 8 West was very light, the surrounding hills and rocks were beautiful cloaked in early morning sun and shadow, my mind gets creative. Time is a liquid pearl, disappearing in and contributing to the fabric of our lives.

My job today, for these 8.5 hours, is to work so this 8.5 hour liquid pearl does, in fact, make a meaningful contribution to the fabric of my life. Since I am employed at a crisis hotline in San Diego, I can make this 8.5 hour liquid pearl make a meaningful contribution to my life by listening compassionately to the people who call in on the hotline--sounds kind of easy, eh?

It is sometimes, but sometimes the callers are angry and displace their anger onto anyone within range. The phone is within their range. Also, many callers call with needs that are genuine, but are impossible to fulfill. They often get angry at us because we can not resolve their problems, often in the manner they would like or with the speed they would like. Listening and interacting with those callers in a manner that contributes to their life and to my life will be my goal for today.

I'll let you know how I do today.

Lazy Days and warm weather in the desert

I am writing from the desert near Jacumba, CA. Boy, it's great, peaceful, quiet here. I am finally able to connect wirelessly to the Internet, so now I have no further excuses for not writing. My only problem is what to write about.
One reason I started this blog was to make myself write daily. So here I am at the club's pool and I don't have anything to write about. What a difficulty! It's 5:05 PM here and company is coming for dinner about 6 PM. Fortunately Jack is cooking, not me. Opps, he's getting ready to go, so I'd better get in the pool with him. Life is rough. LOL

Distractions and difficulties

I haven't written here on this blog for some time for the following excuses...my husband and I bought a cute little (36') 5th Wheeler out in the desert around the 4th of July. Since then, we've been going out there two days a week, Thursdays and Fridays. It is wonderful to get away that much, but it sure takes a bite out of my week. Each week, I think maybe this week we should take the week off from going to the desert, but then, it's just too much fun to get all ready and go out there again. So we do. That's one of my excuses.

The other is that the hotline I work for is owned by a corporation, United Behavioral Health. They are owned by a larger corporation, United HealthGroup. UHG has tighten up it's control of our use of the Internet. They now use a Net Nanny, I call it a Corporate Nanny, and control where we can go. They have actually blocked my going to my Blogs!! I can't go to any blogs that I know of. I was really shocked and annoyed! I mean, it's not like there is any reason to block me--no nasty information, no sex, etc.

So those are my excuses. I'll try to be more vigilant about writing daily, but once I take my computer home from the desert, I don't usually plug it back in at home for Saturdays, Sundays, and Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesday. Anyway, I'll write at least once a week, while I am out here loafing in the desert. We do have air conditioning, fortunately. And wireless internet connection. My daughter, Green Daze44 calls our phone # out here, The Hotline. She's funny!

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