Education from Flies and Lizard

One of the things that we deal with out here in the desert is flies. From having a lot of them to watch and deal with, I can’t help noticing how similar they are to people in unsatisfactory relationships.

For example, they are cheerfully flying around in a large, closed in area, feeling foot-loose and fancy free (I imagine), when suddenly they get themselves in a tight spot, take, for example, a tall cylindrical candle holder. They buzz around, helplessly, beating themselves against the glass, unable to figure out that if they only would do something differently, such as fly upwards, they could be free.

Of course, I am watching them and waiting for them to figure that out, waiting with my trusty “Fly-Zapper” to get them when they do get out.
That part isn’t necessarily part of bad relationships, usually, anyway. But, in a way, it is part of life. No matter how smart, how “healthy” we approach life, none of us are going to get out of this alive.

I watched a cute little lizard come zipping into my gazebo yesterday, then he couldn’t figure out how to get out of it, even though there was a gaping space not 6" away. It took him a dozen tries to find that space before he got to freedom. I thought then, too, how that is like so many women, and men, too, in unsatisfactory relationships but unable to take effective action to get out.

Maybe I’m thinking of this because I hear so many callers to the hotline complaining either of being left by a man who has treated them badly, cheated on them, took their possessions, etc., and now they are crying because the jerk has left them. I know, I know. Grief is normal with any loss.

Another common call we get is from men and women who want to leave but who are afraid to be alone, afraid they won’t make it financially without their partner. Or afraid they will never find anyone to love them again.

How are they like the lizard and the fly? Little imagination or trust in themselves.

I probably should quit now, before I alienate everyone.

Previously delayed post...

I thought I had the problem of not writing daily to my blog solved. I was writing to my email address, thinking I could then upload it to my blog later. However, as you can see, that didn't work out exactly the way I planned it.

However, we are now on plan B. My husband, Problem SolverMan, figured out a way to be able to get on the Internet more consistently when we are out here in the desert. He added a 2.4 GHz Wireless Range Extending Antenna, so now if I don't get a new blog up on Thursdays and Fridays, I have no excuse.

Melissa wrote me a very gracious comment to my blog in which she said, "There are times to write and times to live. It looks like this is your time to sit, back, relax... and enjoy!" That was lovely of her, I thought. It made me stop and relax about pushing myself to write, instead, just stop and enjoy life. I AM!

One of the things I enjoy out here in the desert is that I get a fresh perspective on tiny things and large things. Ah, maybe that's a subject to save for another blog...

Oh, and BTW, I have been much more conscious about how I respond to people on the hotline, now mind you, I wasn't a meany before, or rude, but sometimes, it does get difficult to be kind to someone who is yelling at me for not reason. But I am getting better by being more conscious. Those pearls...

Thoughts on Time...

This morning (last Saturday, August 4, 2007), as I was driving in to work from our desert escape, I was thinking about time. Usually, when I drive back to San Diego from Jacumba on Saturday morning, I feel sad because I won't be back for another week. Today, as I was driving back to San Diego, I was planning on returning to the desert this evening after work to attend a house warming party with friends. I was thinking that these 8.5 hours of working will dissolve slowly and be gone.

I felt both happy and sad about the time going by. Happy that the 8.5 hours would go quickly and sad that 8.5 more hours of my life will be gone. I then thought of time as a metaphor--hey, it was early in the morning, traffic on 8 West was very light, the surrounding hills and rocks were beautiful cloaked in early morning sun and shadow, my mind gets creative. Time is a liquid pearl, disappearing in and contributing to the fabric of our lives.

My job today, for these 8.5 hours, is to work so this 8.5 hour liquid pearl does, in fact, make a meaningful contribution to the fabric of my life. Since I am employed at a crisis hotline in San Diego, I can make this 8.5 hour liquid pearl make a meaningful contribution to my life by listening compassionately to the people who call in on the hotline--sounds kind of easy, eh?

It is sometimes, but sometimes the callers are angry and displace their anger onto anyone within range. The phone is within their range. Also, many callers call with needs that are genuine, but are impossible to fulfill. They often get angry at us because we can not resolve their problems, often in the manner they would like or with the speed they would like. Listening and interacting with those callers in a manner that contributes to their life and to my life will be my goal for today.

I'll let you know how I do today.

Lazy Days and warm weather in the desert

I am writing from the desert near Jacumba, CA. Boy, it's great, peaceful, quiet here. I am finally able to connect wirelessly to the Internet, so now I have no further excuses for not writing. My only problem is what to write about.
One reason I started this blog was to make myself write daily. So here I am at the club's pool and I don't have anything to write about. What a difficulty! It's 5:05 PM here and company is coming for dinner about 6 PM. Fortunately Jack is cooking, not me. Opps, he's getting ready to go, so I'd better get in the pool with him. Life is rough. LOL