To Wed or Not to Wed...that is the question.

I'm thinkin' about getting married in about 2.5 weeks to the man I've been living with for 5+ years. Why am I debating about this after all this time? Well, there is a significant difference between marriage and living together. It's called the C word or Commitment.

All my Mental Illnesses come up when I start to think about getting married. As a therapist once said to me, "What makes you so optimistic?" We do have fun together, considering we both have responsibility disorders. His is that he is too responsible; mine is not responsible enough, sort of. Of course, you can see why we fit together so well.

We like each other a lot, in addition to loving each other. We share values about relationships, people, kids, and money. We have mostly worked those things out over the past 5 years. We resolve issues between us very well. I tell him "I'm having a problem about something." We sit down ASAP and I have his full attention. I love that about him!! I seldom get angry at him anymore because I know I don't need to. He is responsive! What a lovely thing in a man!

So what's the problem? you probably are thinkin'.

He is a devoted father to his 15.5 year old son who lives with us. He is a devoted son to his 85 year old mother recently diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. He is an only child. He is also a financial consultant, which means he works hard and long but inconsistently. He earns lots of money when working, but sometimes he can go 6 months without a job, then he gets a job and earns $1000 a day for 12 days out of town. I feel like I get lost in the shuffle of all these responsibilities.

Suggestions? Thoughts? Ideas?