Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Parent, Adult, Child states stimulated by domesticirritation.com

Since I am a therapist and the mother of 2 daughters (both adults, thank heaven! Whether they know it or not...LOL), here's a bit of information about how some therapists (Transactional Analysts) look at these various selves within us. This comes from the 70's Eric Bernes' book, Games People Play.

Transactional Analysis. I don't think I'd be the person I am today without that knowledge.

Transactional Analysis, shortened to TA, held the theory that all of us have the following 'ego states' inside of us; the Free Child, the Adaptive Child, the Adult, the Loving Parent, and finally the Critical Parent.The free child state is the creative, fun, feeling state, the joyful, laughing and crying state, our emotions; the Adaptive Child state is the one that is the good girl/boy, the one who wants to adapt, to fit in, be a part of the group/the family; the Adult self is the part that is 'Just the Facts, ma'am', no emotion, no judgement; the loving parent is the part of us that forgives our mistakes, is kind to ourselves and others, is supportive of ourselves and others, is generous and loving; and the Critical Parent is just that--critical and/or abusive to ourselves and others.

Of course, all of us have these states, even your partners, girlfriends/boyfriends, children, bosses, relatives, etc., don't forget. And it gets complicated in any relationships when one of their states is in conflict with the state you happen to be in at that moment. But more another time.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm, the many faces of Sybil. We all have so many sides to us, no wonder it's hard to know what we want sometimes, much less figure out what anyone else, (like our spouse) wants.

The other sides of myself are the go-getter Mom side, the lazy side, the good side, the scary side, the conservative outlook, the wild side. Somtimes I have so many voices in my head of what I should or shouldn't do, I just want to scream. Oh, and then there is the side that wants to please everyone and then the rebelious side that says, "Hey, what about me?" I'm know all those sides fit into those categories you listed, but they sound a little less technical when described in these descriptions.

As I turn 45 this year, I'm really trying to get to know more of what my head is saying to me rather than what I think everyone else wants me to do. I think this bloggin' stuff will help me with that.

Hey, I came up with a saying..... Bloggin' is like Joggin' for the Brain. Pretty funny, huh? Oops, still looking for validation. Ok, well I think it's pretty funny.....

Sassy63 said...

I think 'Bloggin' is like joggin' for the Brain.' is darn cute, funny, too!

Our brain is hard-wired for looking for validation. Just think how important for survival it was for the cave people to fit in, to look for other's approval and agreement. It's only in our modern, 21st century stuff that it was named co-dependent behavior. And of course, there are extremes.

And here's the thing about all those "voices" going on in your head--let them have a conversation with each other. That makes for a really funny and interesting blog, I can tell you!

Hey, Boggin' is like Joggin' for the Brain is a good title for one of your Blogs.

And, thanks for the comments. I am really enjoying this bloggin' stuff now that I get comments from you and Melissa.

Unknown said...

Dear Sassy
Your blog appears in youtube, as 'transactional analysis'
I know about TA too and I went to San Francisco at 1999 August for the ITAA Conference. Your face remember me a woman who I've met there. I won a Hodgking's Desease, a type of cancer, in 1983. So, I'll came back to read more.
Warm Regards,
NĂ” - BR